The Memesters
by Fenris13
Summary: A lesser known kind of Exaltation, the Fangirls and their masters, the Memesters. CRACKfiction, because we love crack. Rated T for language and mentions of porn. No real plot or characters, just a crack bunny.


Disclaimer~!: Exalted actually doesn't belong to me, thank _god_. I would do terrible things to that game. It actually belongs to White Wolf and the DnD crew in general, I am pretty sure.

...it had to be done.

* * *

The Memesters.

Some may say the most fearsome of creatures in existence are the Primordials, or the dead Neverborn. Others say the Dragonblood, the Lunars, the Solars, the Sidereals, the Abyssals, every exalt under the Unconquered Sun. But no, the most feared are none of these. Not the Abyssals, hell-bent on the destruction of Creation itself, or the Lunars, equally hell-bent on spreading the madness. No, the most fearsome of all are the Memesters.

They who, instead of wishing for the destruction of Creation in order to slide into the Abyss, wish for their favorite author to fucking update already. They who, instead of spreading the madness, spread the deep and powerful love of the sweet, sweet Hoyay. They who, instead of protecting Creation (It's where I keep all my stuff), protect their OTP with righteous fury.

The Memesters.

They and their own Exalted minions, who spread the word of various obscure anime and manga to the world, the dreaded Fangirls. Fangirls, who come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and sexual kinks. For reasons unknown to the other Exalted, the Fangirls squabble amongst themselves, inciting flame wars that literally set fire to everything within a five-mile radius. But while this may be, should any person speak a word against Final Fantasy, Naruto, or, LittleKuriboh Forbid, homosexuals, the Fangirls will unite and shoop da whoop that bitch straight into the Abyss. Any questioning of this method would get the offender pwned like the n00b they are.

The Memesters.

Other than their crazed Fangirls, non can hope to understand them or their mission. Fangirl dialect is often hard to understand, as they use odd terms other Exalts are not familiar with, such as 'OMG', 'FTW', 'I can has [insert noun/verb here]', and 'I like, totally ship that! LOL!'. And as to inner-Exalt relations, Fangirls, for some strange reason, are in neither fear or awe of _anyone!_ In fact, instead of being creeped out the weird ass bondage Abyssals, some embrace their ways, literally pouncing on their undead partner (possibly of the same gender). Solars try to avoid the Fangirls at all cost and as much as Exaltedly possible, mainly because, hypothetically (a-wink-wink), should a male be faced with a pack of female Fangirls, maybe even one or two males, he will undoubtedly be 'glomped' by the Fangirls, the last words he hears being 'AAAAAH! _BISHIE~!_'. Sidereals are kind of uncomfortable around Fangirls, especially their strangely specific questions. '_Any_thing? Kinky. Come, bedroom, _NAO_.' Lunars are actually on the best terms with Fangirls, due to the similar state of their sanity. At first, Lunars were skeptical, assuming the Fangirls were, like other Exalted, horrible haters. But their fears were quickly and harshly relieved by Fangirls who admitted to also being 'furries', and were into 'bestiality', often defending their sexual preferences from others--such as Abyssals--by telling them 'it's okay if they're sentient!'

...which (we hope) Lunars are.

The Memesters.

Not too much is known of the Memesters outside of Fangirl circles. Which is why we sent a Lunar agent in to learn more. This brave soul took it upon himself to brave the vast hordes of Fangirls bursting with UST. We can only pray for him.

The information we have learned thus far is as follows:

"Fangirls are wild beasts and need to get laid more often, you heartless bastards, they're just misunderst--"

Eh-heh, eh-heh, sorry. Wrong clip.

"The Memesters are, in a nutshell, EXACTLY LIKE THEIR EXALTED. However, the Memesters are more like the preachers to a very, very enthusiastic crowd, supplying the 'awesome sauce', as some of my favorites refer to it. One of the Supreme Memesters--Memesters so powerful, they might as well be _gods_--as I understand, goes by the name of 'LittleKuriboh', posting humorous videos on an enormous communicative network each Fangirl has access to through their 'computers' called the 'World Wide Web', or 'internet'. This 'internet' is a very important part of their way of life, including several 'sites', such as 'TV tropes, '', and one of the scariest places in existence, 'four-chan'. It would seem that the 'internet' was originally created as a method for exchanging information--that is, until the Fangirls took over most of it (the rest is porn).

As to the Memesters themselves, most are like their Fangirls--witty, hysterical perverts. The speak a similar language--possibly the original Fangirl dialect. Others include legendary author(esse)s, such as Cassandra Claire or Resmiranda, who actually started up many popular 'fanbases', such as 'Sesskag', 'Puppyshipping', and 'Harry/Draco'. One popular form of writing includes that of the 'lemons'. Oh, the 'lemons'. 'lemons' are basically the Fangirl term for 'girl porn', and that doesn't mean 'yuri', you pervs. That means 'readable porn', specifically directed at girls.

But not all Memesters preach to their disciples through video or writing. Some preach through color, spreading the word with words of the canvas. Basically, regular porn, usually 'yoai' (man on man) and 'yuri' (girl on girl). But yoai is not the only thing the Memesters give their Fangirls. No, they also provide 'shonen-ai' and 'fluff'--romance mixed with their sex. Honestly, some of the stuff they record/write/draw is so 'fluffy', it makes me want to vomit.

Beyond this, the Memesters are odd creatures. Their mood changes often, switching quickly between horny, happy, melancholy, righteous anger, and back to being horny bitches. Often times, only the other Memesters can keep up, leaving even their beloved Fangirls behind to puzzle over their masters for a whole half second before chanting the title of their favorite pairing and arguing the finer points of which is better: Rayquaza or Giratina. That is, until one Memester reveals to them that, neither! they are, in fact, a gay couple. But, of course, then they would argue over with was the 'uke', or submissive, and which was the 'seme', the dominant, (the Memesters encourage this) and any Fangirl worth her salt would know what those terms meant.

But, again, that is beside the point. Memesters are very similar to their Fangirls, and some are believed to have once been Fangirls, such as Cassandra Claire or Resmiranda, only to be elevated to Memester level. All Fangirls hope one day to become a Memester like their idols."

The Memesters.

Sometimes they puke rainbows, and puppies, and unicorns, yay! 8D. At other times, they spit fire and brimstone, possibly shitting Narwhals and Awesome, and Crackfiction. They and the Fangirls almost disgust and horribly confuse the other Exalted, and, due to the fact that they are sick sadistic bitches, and that is just how they like it.

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...you all know we are _such_ sadistic bitches. Um, just so you know, I sort of kind of play Exalted, same as my older sister. I am basing most of the information I know of Lunars off of my older sister's Lunar character, Rosathorn, who is a psychopathic Platypus girly who wants to spread the madness and eat monsters hearts in order to take their forms. Yeeeah. Sorry if any or all information is off/skewed! You know what would be helpful? Telling me I'm horribly wrong and it's done like _this_ in a review! (a-wink-wink)

Please Review! All the cool kids are doing it, and reviewers get mystical virutal cookies.


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